The Monkey in the plane!!!!!!!!!

Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand Spanish and reply in actions.

The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: 'When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Tying their belts'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Saying Hello! Good morning!'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Checking the system'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Looking for my people'

Officer: 'After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Having beverages and snacks'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Serving the travelers'

Officer: 'What were the Pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Eating & throwing'

Officer: 'After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Some were sleeping and some were reading'

Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Make up'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'

Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Nothing'

Officer: 'Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'All were sleeping'

Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the air hostess'

Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !

No more Questions!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

sardar joke

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning  house...
still he was in jail.......why?
coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

Sardarji joke

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror. 
sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive. 

Sardarji joke

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, 
Do I look like a foreigner? 
Wife: No! Why? 
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner? 

Sardarji joke

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Internet shopping

A woman at  work was seen putting a credit card into her  floppy drive and pulling it out very  quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number 

School joke

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Sardarji joke

Sardar to his friend, "Yesterday I saw my wife going to see a movie with a stranger".

His friend replied, "So did u follow them?".

Sardar replied, "No yaar, I had already seen the movie".

Sardarji On A Train

When a Train stopped at station, Man sitting next to sardar asked, which station is this? sardar saw outside the window and said,

" I think it is Railway station"

Sardarji lost his Donkey

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passer-by saw him and asked,   "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"   The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Sardarji buying the clock on a Clock Tower

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower

A man came and asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. 

Sardarji  says "Yes".

Man: "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a  ladder."

The man  took the thousand and disappeared.   Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the  same street  and the same man came and asks him to buy the clock.

Sardarji  says "OK".

Man: "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."   

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a  fool. This time,  you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

Sardarji travelling on a train

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the rain 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.


Said his wife "What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

What will come first, Chicken or egg

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What
will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

SARDARJI ON A DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a
double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was
over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met
Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared
to death.

He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's going on? Why are
you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?


Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."

911

A mother  calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if  she needs to take her kid to the emergency room,  the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer...... ' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

SANTA SINGH & THE PHONE

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor
asked him
what
had happened to his ears and he answered,


" I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of
picking up the
phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
ear."


" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what
happened to
your other ear?"


"The scoundrel called back."